Black Swan

Black Swan

Directed by Darren Aronofsky

I woke up early this morning slightly hung-over at a friends house sleeping on the mattress that they always reserve for guests. I was warm and dozed in and out of consciousness until about 9am when one of my friends was stroking my hair and telling me that my hand had healed well. I'd cut my right hand at a show about 2 weeks ago and probably should've gotten stitches but instead drank lots of beer that night and taped up my hand with packing tape and a paper towel. I used lots of Bacitracin and band-aids and it seemed to heal fast.

I woke up again to another good friend telling me that she needed a ride to work if it wasn't too much trouble. I got up, brushed my teeth, pissed and washed my face. We rode to work listening to Wang Chung and I was sad to see her walk out into the freezing cold. I got some breakfast at a dumb health food chain hot bar and drank coconut water and decided that I was going to go see Black Swan today.

I went thrift store shopping with a male colleague. He was really stoned when I picked him up and said he didn't wanna go to the movies so after finding out that the movie started at 5pm I dropped him off and picked up another friend who wanted to go see the movie.

We pissed and moaned through some mind-numbing commercials and bad "indie" trailers. I like Aronofsky. Pi, The Wrestler and The Fountain are three incredible films so I expected something good. I didn't even have to think about the lighting or the acting or the set design (which is what I usually do at the movies, unfortunately). I was immediately thrown into the story and stuck there until the last frame and was surprised when the credits started. What a brilliant fucking film.

It was shot on two Arri 16mm cameras (the Arriflex 16 SR3 and 416) and the Canon DSLR 5-D and 7-D cameras. I noticed the 5-D and 7-D shots, particularly in the subway scenes. It was nice to see those cameras blown up to a 35mm print on a big screen.

My friend and I sat transfixed for 108 minutes as someone's baby cried and yelped at random intervals throughout the film. Natalie Portman's performance was incredible. Her ability to appear both absolutely fragile and murderous was amazing. All the acting from the cast was perfect, not one miffed line, especially from Mila Kunis and Barbara Hershey. I don't know what to say right now. The film is still with me. I don't want to give away anything from the film. You should go see it immediately...if you're into this kinda stuff, dude.

I have certainly had mental breakdowns in my life due to drug use in my younger years or malnutrition and I can certainly relate to that feeling (albeit not as extreme as Nina's) of being out on Pluto when you sadly see the rest of your world back on planet Earth and smiling and "you just need to relax" and "oh, you're too stressed, you need some rest", "why don't you just take it easy, everything will work out". But it doesn't and no one can fix how you see the world except for you. Since I've grown and taken more responsibility in my life I've learned to avoid the things that make me lose it and have felt happy and good for years now. But as cheesy as it sounds, that Black Swan is always with you, everytime you stumble into the bathroom drunk or forget to use a condom or take one more shift even though you need to sleep or drive drunk or stay up writing all night when you need to work at 6 in the morning.

"Art is war and life is meaningless without it."

I hate Christ-mas...so I watch these!

Every year after Halloween (or whenever they decide to start hyping Xmas, seems sooner every year) I get depressed. Not a serious drunkard depression but more like an emotional sigh.

"HHHHuuuuuhhh...Christmas is coming."

I understand why human beings find it necessary to have holidays in the winter. If we didn't it would be even more depressing than it already is, trust me...there would be way more suicides without them.

Thanksgiving is gross but I can tolerate it. This year I watched "Carnal Knowledge" with one of my best friends and ate a lot of amazing Greek food at his parents house. We got hammered and went for a drive whilst smoking cigars. I put on Huey Lewis' Sports and we cruised the streets of the shopping mall that is Marietta.

Christmas is only 11 days away and I feel so icky. Creeped out. The aesthetics of Christmas alone are totally repellent to me. I CAN NOT stand the music (my mom used to subject my sister and I to Manheim Steamroller's "Christmas") or the majority of Xmas inspired artwork that's around. I get grossed out by the "aw shucks" feel of the whole month of December.

"Wow, what a fucking whiner this guy is."

Yes, you are correct, I am whining. BUT one of the newly found things I now enjoy about Xmas (besides not working and smoking a lot of pot around the holidays) are the MOVIES! Not "Miracle on 34th St." or "It's A Wonderful Life" or any positive portrayal of Xmas. No...A nice little collection of the only films I can tolerate during these few weeks.

These films make me feel better about the whole affair. Something nice to remind me that for every forced smile and shopping mall sale there's also people who dress up like Santa and go on killing sprees. Mind you I don't enjoy the idea of actual murder, I just like balance, that's all. So without wasting anymore space here are some truly GREAT (and fun) Christmas films to watch.

1. Christmas Evil (Lewis Jackson)

2. Gremlins (Joe Dante)

3. Die Hard (John McTiernan)

4. Silent Night, Deadly Night (Charles E. Sellier Jr.)
5. Bad Santa (Terry Zwigoff)
6. Black Christmas (Bob Clark)
7. Child's Play (Tom Holland)
8. Night Train Murders (Aldo Lado)
9. Rambo: First Blood (Ted Kotcheff)
10. Lethal Weapon (Richard Donner)
11. The Ref (Ted Demme)

12. The Ice Storm (Ang Lee)

13. Less Than Zero (Marek Kanievska)

Cutter's Way

Cutter's Way
Directed by Ivan Passer
Starring Jeff Bridges, John Heard and Lisa Eichhorn

I watched this movie on-demand at a friends house after we'd been out partying all night. My friend was passed out on the couch. I didn't know what to expect from the film. I'd only seen the name listed in a few film director's top ten lists and knew nothing about the plot.

The score by Jack Nitzsche grabbed me immediately. This man has pulled at my heart on several occasions. I can think of two films (Stand By Me, Starman) whose music brought me to tears and haunted me for days afterwards, both scored by Jack Nitzsche of course. It didn't help that that late evening/early morning I was feeling particularly depressed and aimless about my life, the product of too much alcohol and coffee in one day.

The fact that Mr. Nitzsche led a drunken and depressed life wasn't making his music sound any happier to me. I imagined myself laying in the shower at 45, bald, drunk, overweight and alone crying about some faceless person whom I'll miss in the future because I was too insecure or anxious to hold on to them. This was all happening in just the opening credits!

I saw that Jordan Cronenweth (Blade Runner, Rolling Thunder) was the photographer on the film so I knew there'd be lots of beautiful, natural light and indoor scenes only lit by houselamps.

The film's plot is very simple. Richard Bone (Jeff Bridges) lives in a house with Alex Cutter (John Heard), a drunken, disabled Vietnam veteran and his wife Mo, who is also a drunk. The three of them seem to have a dynamic but ultimately good time with each other and despite their bizarre behavior towards one another you can see deep down that they love and trust each other.

One rainy night Ricard Bone's car breaks down in an alleyway where he sees what appears to be a man dumping a body into the garbage. The man gets into a large car and drives away. Richard tries to brush it off as nothing but is forced to face the situation when a young woman's dead body is found the next morning near his abandoned car in the alley.

The Police take Richard in for questioning and name him as a suspect in the murder. He's released that day but told he'll be watched by local police as the investigation continues. He meets up with his friends Alex and Mo to watch a local parade and as they're talking about the case he sees local tycoon J.J. Cord ride by on a horse. Richard realizes that Cord was the man he saw dumping the body in the alley.

This is essentially where the real film begins and as the mystery unfolds what an amazing, drunken ride it takes you on with one of the most unbelievable, hard-hitting endings I have ever seen. It may sound cheezy but it's like the feeling you get at the end of a great, chaotic symphony or hardcore record. It builds and builds toward the final song/scene and you're thinking to yourself "This better fucking pay off!" and then it gives you the best feeling punch in the face you've ever had (which you didn't think was possible) and ends abruptly leaving you dazed and slightly confused about what you just went through.

I drifted off not feeling so bad about getting drunk and seeing that like the characters in the film and Jack Nitzsche, drunks can achieve incredible things and experience wonderful highs that most sober people can't get to! Hah hah!

I stopped drinking for the last three months and then broke it by getting drunk on my 30th birthday, I had a fucking blast.

Then I drank a bunch of Modelo's two nights ago and woke up feeling like that old, overweight, bald man. Shit.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Directed by Edgar Wright

I recently went out of town to visit a really good friend. I drove 4 hours, visited my sister in Charlotte and then drove the other 9 up to Philly the next day. I arrived with a serious case of "highway hypnosis" and a bit jittery from all the caffeine I'd consumed.

I called her...no answer. I was parked illegally in South Philly and a wave of anxiety washed over me. Called her a few more times and no answer. I started to worry that something bad had happened to her, I imagined her on her beachcomber bike getting demolished by some cab driver. In vivid detail I could see her laying in a stretcher with some of her teeth knocked out and bloody as hell. Ugh.

She called me and immediatley I ran down the block to where she was not bothering to re-park my car. She opened the door and we grabbed each other and kissed for a long time. Something I'd wanted to do to her for a year.

We spent a lot of time only with each other. I felt a serious rush of energy around her, some good, some bad. What the hell was I doing?

I couldn't answer the question. I was just so glad to be there and see her.

One night we went to the movies in Upper Darby to the 69th St Theatre. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was playing. I'll watch anything Edgar Wright does. I think that man is a genius. He's like an ADD John Landis, filling an insane amount of references and genre points into one tight, little comedy.

This film was awesome. If you grew up in the the 80's or 90's playing video games, watching TV and reading comic books (which I did) I think you'll get a serious kick out of it. The comic book paneling and super quick editing was easier for me to follow than most films, maybe because I have ADD.

The characters to some degree were a little flat (with the exception of Scott and Ramona) but it's a comedy based on a comic book! What do you expect? If you're looking for serious depth in a comic book movie go watch The Dark Knight or A History of Violence. The fight scenes were excellent and the choreography by Brad Allan and Peng Zhang looked straight out of Hong Kong action cinema.

The dialog and joke timing were perfect (and after seeing the film a second time last night I laughed just as hard). It was also fun to see some of the crappy, annoying things musicians have to deal with put up on the big screen and be able to laugh at it.

The romance in the film made me feel a bit sad that my trip would have to end at some point. I'd kick back home with my tail between my legs and throw myself into work and a new project. After drinking too much soda the film ended and we went out to the parking lot and made out for a long time while an Emerson, Lake and Palmer song played on my radio.

Rolling Thunder (1977)

Rolling Thunder (1977)

Directed by John Flynn

Written by Paul Schrader and Heywood Gould

I recently aquired a dusty old copy of Rolling Thunder on VHS (Vestron Video's uncut 99min. release) from ebay. This has become my favorite film over the last few months and seeing as it isn't on DVD or Blu-Ray in the states (a Region 2 DVD was released in Spain) I figured I'd like to tell people about it.

The basic plot is this: Major Charles Rane (William Devane) comes home to San Antonio after living in a POW camp for 7 years during the Vietnam war. He is seen as a local hero and awarded a brand new Cadillac and 2555 silver dollars on live television. His wife, however, is planning on divorcing him and marrying Cliff, a local police officer, and his son, Mark, barely remembers him at all.

He is angry yet resolved at his wife's request for divorce but doesn't want her to drive a wedge between him and his son.

Unfortunately a permanent wedge is put in place by good ol' fate soon enough when a gang of local thugs show up at his home demanding the 2555 silver dollars. They ask him where the money is but Charles keeps his mouth shut. They torture him for a bit but seeing as his life has just consisted of daily torture for 7 years he could give a flying Tejas shit what they do to him. They eventually put his right hand in the garbage disposal and grind it off but to no avail...he won't talk. His son and wife arrive home shortly and are thrown on the couch and asked where the money is. His son, not wanting anyone else to get hurt, shows them. The gang then murders his wife and son and shoots him in the stomach leaving everyone for dead.

The remainder of the film is an amazing roller coaster ride of violence, confusion and love under the strangest of circumstances as Charles exacts his revenge on each and every one of the gangsters. He has a plan and wants to follow it to the bitter end no matter what emotional or personal problems step in his way.

Something about using violence "for the right reasons" has always fascinated me. The idea that a seemingly normal person can go to war under the purpose or illusion that they are fighting for their country or loved ones and commit acts of murder is confusing and complex. All it takes usually for a normal person to turn into a murderer is the right circumstances. Most people would never kill another human, but if you were to say, have a close family member killed in front of you in cold blood what would you do? Would you go after the assailants to kill them? Most people I know have always said that they would, myself included. Completely normal folks willing to turn into monsters under certain conditions. Of course there are always those that have an easier time flipping the switch and some no trouble at all.

I don't know why exactly I'm so obsessed with this film. There's something so realistic about the entire thing. It doesn't have a bit of flashy bullshit to it. It's like a really great punk record, simple, to the point, powerful and filled with the pain and hate of a lousy modern (at the time) life. The dialog is written so well you almost don't even notice it. You just feel like you're hanging out with these folks for a while and then before you know it WOOPS! things get ugly, but too late, you're already wrapped up as hell in the story. You can certainly tell that this movie didn't have a big budget but it's made up for in amazing lighting, incredible acting (especially on the part of William Devane) and great writing. The only three things, I really believe, you need to tell a good story.

Paul Schrader wrote this not long after Taxi Driver and a lot of the same sort of messages come through. Rolling Thunder and Taxi Driver are almost companion pieces to each other, sequels only by theme. I've watched this movie probably about 5 times now and plan on watching it a lot more. Everytime I see it I notice something different going on.

If you have an hour and a half and you're in the mood to watch something dark and thrilling I HIGHLY recommend this film. You can rent the uncut VHS in Atlanta from VIDEODROME (617 N Highland Avenue NE Atlanta, GA 30306) or if you know me come by and watch it at my house!

See the trailer here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd4dW6sbplA&feature=related

MacGruber (2010)

MacGruber (2010)
Directed by Jorma Taccone

Everyonce in awhile a movie comes along that makes me feel so fucking good about life I can barely contain myself. It makes me laugh at least once an hour hearing dialog re-played in my head. I try to tell everyone I know that I respect to go see it. In an almost subconcious way I try to wrap my life around the feeling I got from the movie. I'm like a junkie, seeing it multiple times in the theatre, quoting it constantly, listening to the soundtrack non-stop, pathetically wondering what it'd be like to live in that universe.

Why?

I don't know. It just feels so good to get out of that theatre and see the world painted just a little like the story I just watched.

"Jesus is this guy a fucking dork."

Movies shouldn't be the most exciting thing I do, but most of the time it's the only thing that can make me feel anything on a meaningful level (besides music and sex). I don't think I'm a sociopath. I care very much about the people in my life but films hit a space in my brain that no human or event can reach.

I saw Inglourious Basterds three times in the theatre and the last two times I cried. When Donnie Donowitz comes out from under the bridge swinging a bat to the music of Ennio Morricone I started crying. It's kind of irrational, it wasn't a particularly moving scene.

The same thing happened to me during MacGruber.

"The fucking SNL movie...you cried during an SNL movie?"

Yes I did. MacGruber gets out of his car dressed in a white suit and cowboy boots in slow motion and the moment his foot touches the ground "Take Me Home Tonight" by Eddie Money starts playing. It hit me like an emotional punch in the face after having laughed my ass off for most of the film. It instantly took me back to 1986 when I lived in Las Vegas right before my parents got a divorce. I remember hearing it on the radio while driving around with my Dad. We got home and he proceeded to tell us that he was leaving.

I guess a piece of film being poetically put to good music is what really does the trick. Did my brain reach back to 1986 and bring up the pain of my parents divorce? I guess so...and now here I am crying alone in a theatre in Marietta, GA watching a MacGyver spoof.

Val Kilmer (looking like he's done some serious drinking in the past few years) does a fantastic job as the villian Dieter Von Cunth. Will Forte creates a suprisingly complex character out of the SNL Sketches. MacGruber is arrogant, stupid, insecure, reckless, homophobic (even though he offers to "suck your fucking dick" to keep from being kicked off the case twice), backstabbing and stubborn. Somehow you end up liking the guy and enjoy watching him fuck things up. Ultimately you find out that he's responsible for turning Dieter Von Cunth into the man he's become which makes him just as evil if not more so.

Kristen Wiig plays Vicki St. Elmo, a mouse-ish musician who's skills are detection and running away. After seeing the film three times it seems her character is necessary to balance MacGruber's idiocy and provide a love interest but is the least interesting of the movie. Wiig does a great job playing the part, it just seems hollow by design.

The plot is a seemless blend of Rambo, Lethal Weapon, Roadhouse, Die Hard, Tango and Cash and many other 80's action films. The main part being "bad guy steals nuclear warhead which he will use for something evil and only one man can stop him" kind of thing. Powers Boothe essentially plays Col. Sam Trautman from First Blood and he and Ryan Phillippe are excellent straight men for Forte's string of non-sensical ideas and actions.

The film pushes the envelope for laughs so if you don't like throat rippings, corpse desecration, dick jokes, solo saxophone performances or ghost fucking you should avoid MacGruber. However, if you're someone that doesn't have a stick up their ass and realizes that jokes are jokes you will most likely enjoy this film.

Any film that can make me laugh hysterically, bring up childhood trauma, expose me to Emerson, Lake and Powell and make me think about terrorism in the same 90 minutes is a great one in my book. Some people on this earth still know how to tell a good joke.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)

5/09/2010
A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)
Directed by Samuel Bayer
Rated R

I woke up around 1:30 pm as I had stayed up til about 6 that morning looking up wiki articles about American English dialects and info on Wigger Slam bands. Two cans of Java Monster found in a free case at the entrance of my practice space had done it. I'm really sensitive to caffeine.

"Are you up yet?"
"Not yet, I'm about to get up."

My girlfriend had called.

"Ok, well I'm out shopping for Mother's Day, what are you gonna do?"
"Um, I...uh...I think I'm gonna go see the new Nightmare On Elm Street movie."
"Ok, well call me later."

I always feel awkward waking up at my girlfriend's house after she leaves for the day. She lives with her parents and I sneak like a cat burglar every morning into the bathroom, brush my teeth, put in my contacts (unless I slept in them), piss, whatever. I then sneak back into her room and do some stretching and maybe some push-ups, leg lifts, etc. if I'm not hungover or feeling lazy.

It's not like I'm dating a teenager and her parents can't know I'm there...it's just...weird running into them in the hall. I don't know how parents look at somebody like me. I don't work very much, I sleep late, I spend most of my time playing loud music and reading and I dress like an alcoholic on a Florida vacation.

I'm not ashamed of how I live my life but most normal adults think I'm a bum and they treat me like one in the politest way possible. PHEW! Nobody in the hall. I rushed to my car and high-tailed it outta Wickerberry onto Pinegrove towards Marietta. It was 2:17, the movie started at 2:25 according to moviephone.com.

I pulled into the parking lot at 2:36 and ran into the theatre. I fucking hate being late for movies. If I'm more than 12 minutes late I don't bother going. I usually get there mega early because I'm a nerd and don't have anything better to do. I sat down as the first establishing shot of the film played on the screen. I missed all the previews.

A noir-ishly lit diner in the middle of an Ohio suburb was where we were (it was filmed in Illinois and Los Angeles) as a sleep deprived "teenager" sits in a booth drinking coffee. He looks like some rich prick from Buckhead. I automatically can' t relate. He sees some weird stuff, drifts in and out of sleep, talks to a possible love interest about his "real" nightmares. I'm bored.

Finally after five or so agonizing minutes here's Freddy. I remember Jackie Earle Haley from The Bad News Bears as a kid. I also have fond memories of the first time I was told about Freddy. I believe I was about five or six when one of my neighborhood friends told me about the scary movie with the burnt man and knife hands. Before I had even seen it I was scared shitless. A man with burnt skin and knife hands?!? My five year old brain bounced bizarre imagery around for awhile. Was he completely charred? Did any bone show? What kind of knives did he use? Did I need to see this in a diaper?

One of our neighbors when I lived in Las Vegas worked for a video store and had a large cardboard stand-up of Freddy Krueger in their window. That was the first time I laid eyes upon him and I'll never forget it. Around age eight or nine I began watching the films, number 4 was the first. I watched every one I could as a kid and no-bullshit Freddy started showing up in my dreams.

Obviously he didn't kill me, but there was one incident where he cut my arm in a dream and I woke up with a scratch. I ran screaming into my Mom's room and upon further inspection it appeared that the shitty metal frame for my bunk bed had done it. Okay...so he wasn't real.

Ooops, in the midst of my reminiscence for the 80'sI forgot to pay attention to the film I had paid for. Shouldn't be to hard to figure it out, this dialog sounds like it's been written for NBC's "Passions". Ok, I get the gist. Freddy's haunting these kids dreams because all of their parents killed him, but, in this version it's because he molested all their kids...and NOT ONE OF THEM REMEMBERS?!?

They did something marginally interesting with the first act in getting you to think this "Kris" character (played by Katie Cassidy) was the lead, but they pull a Psycho and kill her off the same way "Tina" met her demise in the original. Good thing she wasn't the lead, she pretty much cried or panicked the entire time she was on screen. I can't stand poorly written female characters that cry and whine and panic on screen. I guess it's the only way dumb, fat Wal-Mart shoppers can latch on to the story.

God, I'm bored just writing this review. Let me get to the worst hits here. There's completely needless CGI, bad acting, annoying little LA orange tan perfect hair no eyebrow morons populating the film. I don't give a shit how any of these people die. The gore is not bad. Jackie Earle Haley does the best job he can with the crappy writing. Clancy Brown of Highlander and Buckaroo Banzai plays Quentin Smith's dad. Hmmm, this movie isn't very good at all. But I'm the mark who put down my 7.50 to go see it. Exploitation movies are alive and well in Hollywood, they're called Re-boots or Re-imaginings or Re-makes and just based on curiosity alone these L.A. fuckers usually make a profit.

"They re-made A Nightmare On Elm Street."
"What? Why? The first one is perfect."
"Well I'm curious to see what they'll do."

There, that right there, if at least 3 million people say that spead throughout the country they got 25-30 million dollars. Now, i'm not sure exactly how much they spent on this film, IMDB says 35 mil. The original was made for 1.8 mil. I don't really know what I'm bitching about here. The re-makes aren't going to stop because it's instant money on an established name and in this economy I guess that's comforting to the movie biz. I think 99% of them are terrible but everyonce in awhile you get John Carpenter's The Thing and that's one of the greatest horror films ever made.

The credits rolled and I felt like I had wasted 90 minutes of my life. I didn't even want to finish my planned double feature of Nightmare/Iron Man 2( I usually pay for one and see two or three). At least the score was effective as I felt on edge a lot of the movie but maybe that was the coffee I had had.